Lost

It's been 2 yrs and 10 month and we finally call it off. Mixed feelings, it's a relieve on one hand and it's sad on another. Last yr I lost my gran, this yr I lost my partner, all on the first day of CNY. Can't blame me for not liking this. 

It feels complicated, as though there is always a reason why things deteriorate, all the good memories rushes all back. Steve did make a good point, as good as it was, we cannot always look back, we can't live on this because of the past, it's the present that we have to deal with.

Part of me still cant get my head around it. This is the longest normal relationship I have had and it's over. Life goes on but I do feel very sad inside. Things were not good for a long while and very frustrating at times, but we were still a couple, now it's just single - again. 

It feels odd because i have done everything I can in this relationship and there's nothing more I can do. Inherently, either it's fundamentally because of me or ... I dunno. Time seems to be passing so slow since this all happens. 

I hate this cos wherever I look, couples couples and more loving couples.