I don't even know today is how many days since CNY but I am still getting lai see, so it must be a GOOD DAY!!!

SCM 2013

The once a year Standard Chartered Marathon is over again!

I felt that the "running" atmosphere is so high this year because of all the devoted runner friends around. Everybody has worked so hard over the last 6 months (sometimes even a year!) to train for this! And it so happens that the annual Tokyo marathon is on the same day, so the spirit is even higher than normal.

As usual, i was shitting my pants because I 膽粗粗地 enrolled into the half
marathon!!

Judging by my 年初四's 4K performance & the UNICEF experience, the more reasons
i was shittin' my pants, but as it turns out, i've outdone myself! I gave myself 
2:30:00 to finish and turns out i only need 2:06:11!!

Good 1 - I managed to run the first 12-13K without stopping (except for a sip of water)
Good 2 - I was able to breath normally throughout the whole journey
Good 3 - No muscle fatigue at all (thank god for the 2XU tights!)

Though having said that, my kneecaps were absolutely taking a battering. Have to start
skip/hop/jog from 16K onwards, and i spent the rest of the day looking like a 100 year-old
grannie who have hip problem. I was slightly worry because my knees felt very wobbly.
I tried to sprint the last 100m but my legs just won't and can't do it...

Still, i'm proud of myself!! 

Thanks but no thanks - I'm not brave enough to do full marathon yet. The faces i saw 
at the junction of Marsh Road & Lockhart last sunday made me rethink like 10 times,
and the answer is still NO!!! lol

I aim to do a faster time at 10K & 21K next!

CNY

Our family and the year of snake have set on the wrong foot on the very first day. Granddad passed away all of a sudden.

I was pretty sad and in utter shock when i "read" the news on FB that my mom posted. I knew she wouldn't joke about something like that on FB and especially not on the first day of CNY. Not funny.

But after all, he is 94 year old and i really feel sad for him everytime i go home. My mom would complain about him this and that and start talking very loudly to him as if he's a kid who's hasn't done what he was told.

Frankly speaking, i have thought about this day for a couple of times. What happens if granddad pass away? How's mom going to feel for everything she's said to him? I wouldn't want to be pushed to speak like that to my parents when they're as old as he was. 

Now i know, my mom was shattered. The news almost killed her, as i expected, she started questioning if it was the right decision to put him in old-ppl's home, whether he was unhappy, if she hasn't looked after him good enough.

I am certainly guilty for not having speak to him as often as i can, and not caring about him the way he did when i was a kid. I'm not proud of it. 

These days - the phrase - "Life Happens" keeps wandering in my head. This is life - people die, people you love dies, there is not a single thing you can do to prevent this from happening. Thats when "you only live once" comes in - life no regrets, live everyday as if it's the last day. 

Despite the positive thinking (which i honestly believe in) - I knew i still feel really sad inside, deep inside. I stopped crying on the second day but i can feel the emotions surfacing whenever i see things that may trigger my soft side, my eyes swells up and i need to swallow hard and make it go away. It could be as simple as a sad song or seeing old people picking trash on the street. 

I planned to be at work two days but i took them off at the end. I need my me time. With Tai Hau, i tried not to be too sad because I know if i'm sad, it puts him in a weird mood too. 

Life goes on, we all have to move on one way or another, but honestly this feels odd. I can't wondering, as much as i don't want to, my own mother will eventually leave me one day and how heartbroken will i be? So many things happened all these years, resentments, arguments, disagreements but still we manage to have a relation with each other. Not that she is here to help me when i needed or pamper me when i'm heartbroken but she's my mother, as much as i may not have understood why she does certain thing, she raise me (at least for 15 out of my 3x yrs), who am i going to call if i want to gossip about my step brother? Who am i going to call if i want to find out how to clean the bathroom effectively? Who am i going to call if i ended up having a broken marriage (if i'll ever have one)?

So much sorrow inside, i wish it'll go away soon. 

年廿八

未到新年, my two bosses (CEO & soon to be ex-boss) has already given us red pocket! Woohoo!

Having dinner with my soon-to-be ex-boss on Wed...it better be good!